TLV Inbox

[draculabutbackwards]

I have no idea if there's some future etiquette for this. Leave whatever message you choose?

Comments

[atowncalledtreffy]

Really wish you and your family would stop calling me a dog.

[draculabutbackwards]

It was the first acting according to its nature metaphor that occurred. If you prefer, one wouldn't take personally an eagle dropping fish all over your garden.

[atowncalledtreffy]

Can you get him to knock it off? Or suggest a way to stop him, shy of attempted murder?

[draculabutbackwards]

You're asking exactly the wrong person. Why would I have ever tried to get him to stop? Leaving aside certain sixteen-year-old outbursts that everyone would like to forget.

[atowncalledtreffy]

Because it's weird and he's stifling?

[draculabutbackwards]

It's weird, I'll grant you, but I doubt any force of nature has the power to stifle you.

[atowncalledtreffy]

Point taken.

[draculabutbackwards]

In fact, if you didn't want something to happen, you'd just stalk off and punch a wall on the way. Therefore, the only possible conclusion...

[atowncalledtreffy]

Are you accusing me of liking your dad?

[draculabutbackwards]

I am a scientist and I objectively follow the evidence.

[atowncalledtreffy]

He's fucking Dracula! And since when are you a scientist?

[draculabutbackwards]

I was raised to it as much as you were to monster slaying. We never made dinner without an anatomy lesson. Anyway, if you didn't like someone, you would just not talk to them. Or punch them. Since neither is happening...

[atowncalledtreffy]

And to think you got pissy when I mentioned bloodletting.

That's not true! Not...all of it. I can not like someone and still talk to them!

[draculabutbackwards]

[They're going to have to have a talk about bloodletting one of these days.]

I think shout is the verb you're looking for.

[atowncalledtreffy]

I don't shout all that often. Bad for the throat. I have no problem telling your dad to fuck off without raising my voice.