TLV Inbox

[draculabutbackwards]

I have no idea if there's some future etiquette for this. Leave whatever message you choose?

Comments

[draculabutbackwards]

It's been... mentioned? I don't actually know him terribly well. Mostly kitchen advice.

[atowncalledtreffy]

He's interesting. You two have a lot in common.

[draculabutbackwards]

[Honestly, it feels a bit weird to be chummy with someone who's... in charge of Trevor, in whatever way that works. And also it's a bit weird to talk to literally anyone because he's a half-vampire recluse.]

Well, next time I need spices explained to me I'll linger a bit.

[atowncalledtreffy]

You piece of shit.

I went hunting with him once. He was a dog and we took down a boar.

[draculabutbackwards]

You with a boar spear or did he turn into a dog the size of a horse?

[Even Alucard doesn't fuck with boars. Some night creatures are pleasanter.]

[atowncalledtreffy]

I had a knife and two rocks and he was the size of a normal wolf.

[draculabutbackwards]

So how was the death toll?

[Teasing. But a little not.]

[atowncalledtreffy]

You piece of shit. I haven't death tolled once since I got here.

[draculabutbackwards]

You're sure it was a boar? The things you need to stab with a crosspiece so they don't run down the spear to you?

[atowncalledtreffy]

It was a real boar. A wild one. Lark got him in the throat with his teeth, I brained him with a stone and then finished the job with a knife to the heart.

[draculabutbackwards]

Kicking Death in the teeth still sounds easier.

[atowncalledtreffy]

I didn't kick him. I stabbed him in the head.

Look, clearly you've never been on a New Year's boar hunt. It was a family tradition. Next year, if you're still around, I'll show you how to do it without getting your muzzle gored.

[draculabutbackwards]

Of course this is what Belmonts do for fun. Alright, next New Year, then.

[atowncalledtreffy]

It's traditional and it's fucking fun. You'll see.

[draculabutbackwards]

Alright, but I have no idea how to cook a boar's head. I've only read about that. Sounds gristly.

[atowncalledtreffy]

Why would you immediately go for the head for food? You stuff the head - or we did.

[draculabutbackwards]

I don't know, I saw it in a woodcut and was grimly fascinated?

[atowncalledtreffy]

You're thinking of tête de veau and it's fucking disgusting.

[draculabutbackwards]

I hereby leave all French-related duties to you. I'm not up to it.

[atowncalledtreffy]

And here I thought you were cultured and I was the great feral bear living in the woods for a decade.

[draculabutbackwards]

I have heard French spoken and it's definitely bear language.

[atowncalledtreffy]

You don't know what the shit you're talking about.

[draculabutbackwards]

What are all those lost vowels doing there if not bear sounds?

[atowncalledtreffy]

I'm sure the French look at Wallachia with far more derision. Actually, you'd fit right into a French court. We'd have to get you a cape and some puffed sleeves.

[draculabutbackwards]

I'd ask you to imagine me at any sort of court but it's just finding the highest available point and hoping nobody looks up. Wouldn't mind the cape, though.