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[draculabutbackwards]

I have no idea if there's some future etiquette for this. Leave whatever message you choose?

Comments

[draculabutbackwards]

Since... before I was born? You've met my father, yes? Of course there's a colony of exotic bats in the attics.

[He feels like this has come up before but either or both of them might have been drunk.]

[atowncalledtreffy]

'Exotic bats'.

Any other animals I should know about living in the castle?

[draculabutbackwards]

I think they might be from Africa? They're eight times the size of anything local. And extremely good natured, frankly, so if you're not careful I'll teach your progeny to make pets of them.

[atowncalledtreffy]

If I'm not careful? If they're like me, my kid's going to adore animals. Make pets of the bats all you like. Just don't let them shit on the kid.

[draculabutbackwards]

I mean, it's generally not a surprise. Flipping over is rather a production.

[atowncalledtreffy]

So when you were trained out of your diapers, was this as a human or as a bat?

[draculabutbackwards]

Wolf.

[atowncalledtreffy]

You pissed on walls to mark your territory.

[draculabutbackwards]

At least the walls we all stone. The real danger was to shoes.

[atowncalledtreffy]

[shuddering laughter as Trevor tries to keep it in. He’s imagining a puppy form of Adrian pissing on the walls. This is an amazing mental picture]

And you told me once I was classless. At least I never pissed inside.

[draculabutbackwards]

In fairness, you presumably never actually grew fur and howled at things.

[atowncalledtreffy]

Did you really howl?

[draculabutbackwards]

Oh, like you wouldn't have.

[Now he only uses the form for combat, but that's more a lack of much earnest playfulness than any requirement of the magic.]

[atowncalledtreffy]

I can't believe I haven't heard a real wolf howl from you yet.

You know Lark can turn into a wolf too?

[draculabutbackwards]

It's been... mentioned? I don't actually know him terribly well. Mostly kitchen advice.

[atowncalledtreffy]

He's interesting. You two have a lot in common.

[draculabutbackwards]

[Honestly, it feels a bit weird to be chummy with someone who's... in charge of Trevor, in whatever way that works. And also it's a bit weird to talk to literally anyone because he's a half-vampire recluse.]

Well, next time I need spices explained to me I'll linger a bit.

[atowncalledtreffy]

You piece of shit.

I went hunting with him once. He was a dog and we took down a boar.

[draculabutbackwards]

You with a boar spear or did he turn into a dog the size of a horse?

[Even Alucard doesn't fuck with boars. Some night creatures are pleasanter.]

[atowncalledtreffy]

I had a knife and two rocks and he was the size of a normal wolf.

[draculabutbackwards]

So how was the death toll?

[Teasing. But a little not.]

[atowncalledtreffy]

You piece of shit. I haven't death tolled once since I got here.

[draculabutbackwards]

You're sure it was a boar? The things you need to stab with a crosspiece so they don't run down the spear to you?

[atowncalledtreffy]

It was a real boar. A wild one. Lark got him in the throat with his teeth, I brained him with a stone and then finished the job with a knife to the heart.

[draculabutbackwards]

Kicking Death in the teeth still sounds easier.